Tag Archives: Poetry

Progress

Been a rather scream worthy day. The ebook pages for The Heart of Autumn and The Soul of Winter are perfectly formatted in the base files, the pdf files, and in the Kindle upload previews but, in reality, they recently lost all their page breaks and most of the line breaks. Argh! They were fine a few weeks back. Not sure what happened to make them become condensed. Extremely frustrating. I will try to fix them this week but probably not until next week. I am a sad little cupcake.

It has been awhile since I posted anything for New Poetry Wednesday. Trying to come up with something for this Wednesday…uncertain which already written piece I should post or perhaps a completely new written today piece.

The decluttering continues…slowly but it continues… Progress is also starting to be seen which is a fantastic motivator. Nothing worse than doing a ton of work and never having any proof – internal or external – that it was completed. Things would probably go a little quicker if I stopped looking at floor plans for smaller homes along with foreclosure listings. There are 3 immensely important things a new home needs – 1. less than 1300 square feet, 2. a functional layout, and 3. an inexpensive price tag. It amazes me how many small homes manage to have a lot of their space wasted by awkward halls, strange closets, and odd room placement.

What I lack in perkiness and optimism, I make up for with enthusiastic quirkiness and procrastination tendencies. :)

The Tears of Spring will come out soon as a Kindle book. I had intended for it to come out in April but I have been most indecisive about what pieces should go into it. I think I have finally settled on a lineup. The general edits are done. Just need to format and upload. Of course, I need to figure out what went wrong with the other books so I can apply the corrections to this one too.

Work forges ahead on A Hundred Flames and Smoke & Spirit. Why I thought it would be neat to try and get two 100 poem chapbooks written at the same time is beyond me but it is happening. At the current writing rate (and the continued preference of them over the novels in verse), I should have them done by the end of the year. Still finding it strange that both have a fire-like reference in the title. Did not plan for them to be that way.

Suppose I should stop procrastinating and continue getting the office stuff moved to its new location that out of the way of the work going on with the rest of the house.


Evaluation of Life

A cog in the machine/that is all I seem to be/a cog in a machine that is seen but unseen/by all that is me/a cog in the machine.

That is how I have been feeling lately but I have glimpsed where all has potentially gone wrong; what machine I have ended up in and I am attempting to change. Been working on downsizing all of my possessions in hope that I can one day soon downsize my home. I do not need 2100 square feet worth of house for myself and my three fur kids. Cannot fathom why I ever thought I needed so much space or stuff. This space over the past 5 years has lead more to horrid distraction and destruction of creativity rather than to a cozy inspiring home I desire.

Decluttering and downsizing take time because things need to decided upon and sorted out. It is a very overwhelming and exhausting process which often leads to startling realizations. I have come to realize that I have zero attachment to at least 75% of my home’s content. So why do I have such things then? No idea. I suppose at one time I felt that the items filled some purpose or some need. Now they are just a testament to me being a cog in the machine of mass consumption of consumer goods. A testament that I needed to change.

Some days, I wish I could just box up what does matter to me and make the rest disappear into a dumpster. Hesitant to do that though. A lot of money went toward that stuff and I would probably regret not donating most of it and/or selling what I could. The funds of selling would go to a smaller place or it be used to indulge this really odd  life-oriented dream I’ve been having.

To understand why this dream is odd, you need to know some important things about me. I am a homebody and I do not liking driving long distances and by long distances, I mean something further than an hour or so away. So the dream is this: I want to get a decent sized RV, load up my fur kids and my prized possessions, make it home, and travel to places seeking peace and creativity. I think it would be wonderful to be like a bird – traveling south for fall and winter, traveling north for spring and summer. How wonderful being free to write and edit with only minimal distractions.

What is important to me? My fur kids, my writings, my 1500+ books, my computers, my music, most of the movies, my new mattress, my sewing machine, a few gift items and the scrolls given to me, and some of the fabric and/or garb I own. Everything else is just space filler and it is filling a ton of space.

This filler is why I rarely blog anymore and devote 1 day a week to nothing but writing my books. Everything else is consumed by sorting through this black hole of where things went very wrong. I hate having to acknowledge what has gone askew but a person gets to a point in life where they are forced to re-evaluate their priorities, their mission, their bliss, and their hopes.


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