The Place of Horror

The scariest place in my home has to be the storage room. I avoid it like it has the black plague. It is a continual bane of my existence. In its depths lies a menagerie of items collected over the past 7 years.  Back in December 2011, I ventured in and freed some items that I donated to friends in need. Once that was done, I went back to ignoring it. Much like I had been doing with the house as a whole.

Sporadic and short decluttering times followed by long stretches of ignoring everything. I am having a difficult time coping with the whole process. I loathe empty places which is why I’ve developed hoarding tendencies. The more that leaves the house via donations, selling, or the trash, the more I am burdened with overwhelming anxiety. When I saw a mostly empty living room back in July, I was in tears and close to vomiting because I was so traumatized. I’ve been trying to come to terms with the situation. I have an end goal in mind. I think about it constantly. This end goal of moving into 400 sq ft (maybe 600 sq ft) home is what keeps me from continuing to hoard things.

I’ve been working on the decluttering for about a year. I’ve made strides but still a long way off from being able to transition from ~2200 sq ft of space to 400 sq ft.

On the 11th, I had a nine hour manic episode. They typically do not last that long and, in very recent years, means a very clean kitchen. This episode had something else in mind. The storage room. Over the nine hour stretch, 20 bankers’ boxes and 6 large plastic bins were sorted and a third of the storage room was emptied out.  I spent time on the 12th and 13th sorting through a lot more boxes and got two-thirds of the room clean-ish. On the 14th, I hit a major anxiety wall and started taking a lot of the Bach flower blend, Rescue Remedy, to help. I normally only use Rescue Remedy to help with social situations and I do not use it every 20 minutes or so. Now I am which concerns me but I need to keep up the momentum. Today, I am desperately hoping to get the remaining content paired down by half.

The current status of content to keep from the room: 5 large plastic tubs of fabric, a small plastic bin of crafting supplies, a large camp stove, a shade pavilion, camp chair, a few kitchen odds & ends, some attire, and a serger. Although, the serger may find a new home – it and I do not get along which is why it was living in the storage room.

I did find several poetry pieces that had been missing in action. I am optimistic that I will find more as I continue to sort through boxes.

I have additional motivations to get the storage room done. There’s an event this Saturday that is taking donations of fabric and such then there is a fabric swap on the 30th. While it would be nice to sell a lot of the fabric, having so much of it around is dangerous. I am afraid that it will never leave. That, somehow, I will try to convince myself to keep all of it. The sooner it all leaves, the better off I will be in the long run.

How bad was the storage room clutter situation?: The storage room is ~12×11 ft with a 5×5 ft closet. I could only open the door about 8 inches. The closet was packed floor to ceiling. A two foot wide perimeter around the room was packed floor to ceiling.  The rest of the floor space was piled approximately 5 ft high. Keep in mind, I am 5 feet tall…

Right now, the living room and family room are looking a little worse for the wear. Both have a mountain of empty bankers’ boxes and many boxes of fabric to donate/sell. Decluttering = useful but makes things worse/messier for awhile.

I pray that all this work makes my vacation in November (aka NaNoWriMo) even more special.

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