Tuesday Tabellion – Reflections at the end of 2017

As I complete Glyph & Grey and 2017 comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on the past few years.

The first poetry book I ever published was The Heart of Autumn on September 13, 2011. The first poetry book of 100 poems I published was Smoke & Spirit on October 9, 2012. I started writing Smoke & Spirit in August 2011 along with Flare & Fetter. Since their publishing, I have published 13 other 100 poem books of new work, 4 other smaller books of poems I wrote prior to 2011, 5 collected works, and 16 chapbooks.

From August 2011 through today (and the completion of Glyph & Grey), I have written 1515 poems toward stand alone poetry books which roughly averages out to 288 poems a year. I have also written another 300 or so poems in attempts at novels in verse and other poetic styles. One of these days, those poems might come out to play but for now, they sit and wait for me to decide what their fates will be.

While all the poems are personal to me in one way or another, Flare & Fetter remains one of the most personal books as it was written while I was “forced” to confront significant issues with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. This condition and other issues do play out in other books and their poems but not in the same way.

The most challenging book to write was Hallow & Hearth. I wanted to give myself a writing challenge, and it delivered fully. I never expected letter H would give me such problems because it only applied to the titles. For a long time though, it and some personal crap stifled my creativity and I did not write. When I did write, H was very easy to deal with in short bursts of awesomeness.

The quickest book to write was Passion & Prudence. I wrote its 100 poems in 30 days as a creative endurance challenge. I continue to be amazed that I did so well. The poems turned out fantastically. My brain did feel like ooze for awhile after I was done but it was worth it.

My absolutely favorite book continues to be Russian Hymns, a collected work of poems from several books. These poems were inked to and/or involve a fictional character I had often dreamed about nicknamed The Undertaker aka Zephyr. I still dream of him from time to time but nowhere to the extent I use to. I have no idea why he is such a vivid creation in my dreams. Supposedly, the faces we see in our dreams are faces we have seen before. The Undertaker’s entire physical form is very precise in my dreams but I have absolutely no recollection of ever seeing such a face or encountering such a person.

 

Tuesday Tabellion – Who Is?

Question: Who is the ‘he’ and who is the ‘she’ in your poems?

Answer: This answer largely depends on the context of the poem and the reader’s perception. Some poems – especially those written early on – do have a specific person attached to them. The poems which came to make up Russian Hymns are about a fictional character named Zephyr. Unlined & Undertakers and Zephyr & Zinc pay homage to Zephyr as well. A few poems after Russian Hymns, Zephyr & Zinc, and Unlined & Undertakers also reference him. Typically, these later poems make note of hymns. Why he sings hymns remains a mystery to me. Zephyr, at his core, is not a nice person and only gives the illusion of being wholesome, loving, better than he is. In some ways, he has evolved to be the general meaning of ‘he’ in a lot of poems. There are times where I think Zephyr has always been ‘he’ but grew to be more of a solid entity then returned to a more incorporeal state of existence as words and emotional needs are fickle. Predominately, ‘he’ and ‘she’ are a reference to creativity or to some personification of a harbinger of dying/death. Again, which is which depends on context and perception. I am not always sure myself and I wrote the poems. I am certain there are times where ‘he’ and ‘she’ are a direct reference to death but I can never seem to pinpoint the exact poems in which this occurs.

Release Day for Russian Hymns

Today is the release day for the collected works of poetry, Russian Hymns. It is available as a $9.99 paperback and as a $2.99 eBook for Kindle.

Its poems come from various poetry books including Unlined & Undertakers and Zephyr & Zinc.

A collection of one hundred and six poems about blossoming romance, forsaken passion, and love’s inevitable demise even if it all is a dream-filled hymn sung by one soul burdened with unrequited love.

NaPoWriMo 2014 – Day 25

Nowhere to Land

Descended onto my face
When I succumbed to love
With a lover who cares not
Wish I could hold a lot
Gather him in closer
Build up walls around
Keep him near always
Descended onto my face
Full force of wall pieces
When he broke loose
Hell’s all fury and might
With nowhere to land
Scared of everything all
When I know I will
Fall, fall, and fall
Into love never returned

NaPoWriMo 2014 – Day 11

Roses

Do not bring me roses
After you tossed me
To the knives more than once
In this torrid life love affair
Do not bring me roses
Scented with your bewitchment
Decree me back into this world
Foretold tears that tear
Do not bring me roses
Want to distance myself
From the crusade lines
If you could just let go
Do not bring me roses
Will let them die brutal
Crumble between my fingers
After their desolate time
Do not bring me roses
For they will only remind
How much I wish for more
Desire your blood spill
Do not bring me roses
Covered in your bewitchments
Broken along the thorns
Seek me out to transform
Do not bring me roses
I can no longer be one
Soothe our realms incomplete
Entombed by the roses

NaPoWriMo 2014 – Day 8

All I Need

Silence between what I
See and what I need
Yet you deny me all the same
You will not stay, will not fade
Always freezing in between
Our worlds, our natures
Divided into battles bloody
We go nightly sleepless
Want to make it right
Keeping it all wrong
For reality never seeks
The light we lit up against
Our starry skies sheltered
Should we leave to become undone
Silence between what I
See and what I need
Would do or say anything
Yet you deny me all the same
Conversations we cease to speak
Stretched thin as resolutions are
Shot for trespassing on lands
Where your fortress grows yet
You will not stay, will not fade

NaPoWriMo 2014 – Day 6

Tiles

Tiles we play
Forming hurt
Out on display
Wild reckless abandon
No consideration of aftermath
As we play out
Tiles we are dealt
Forming lettered pain
We continue on
Filling up the spaces
With more aggression
And heart-burdened sorrow
Than tiles ever fathomed
Tiles we play
Forming agonies
Out on display
When they and we
Should be disarmed