Halfway through NaNoWriMo 2019

Oh how I wish things wouldn’t fall through the cracks but they do. This poor blog (and social media) are hiding in the dark crevasses of my mind and my to-do list each day. I don’t mean for it to be this way and yet…

I get so busy and/or distracted that I forget all of this is here for awhile. I frequently tell myself and this blog that I will be better about posting. It remains true for a few weeks then back into darkness with the occasional glimmer of hopeful light.

NaNoWriMo this year is WEIRD for me. While I make word count each day, I feel as if I have written nothing of any kind of substance for my poetry books. It is disappointing but I forge ahead. Putting words, any words, to paper just to say I did while maintaining the faintest wish for something useful.

Things with Patchwork Chicken Studio are going well even though I’ve ended up making more drawstring bags/backpacks after I promised myself I wouldn’t after August where I made 37 bags in less than a month. Glutton for punishment I guess but it was out of need for some additional variety after sales at a few shows. I also have a small pile of fabric waiting for the post-show season to become bags too but shhhhh, not suppose to know about that.

Word count for today is done. Would kinda like to curl up for a nap now but alas, no. There are time-critical things demanding my time and attention today. I had to force writing time into my schedule by going to the local coffee shop so I would not get distracted by all the other things waiting for me at home.

NaNoWriMo 2014 – Days 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, and 14

On Day 12, I put out a free chapbook, in PDF format, called Spirit. It consists of 10 poems from Smoke & Spirit. (Clicking ‘Spirit’ will take you to the download page.) It is the first in the series of free chapbooks I plan to put out over the coming month or two. Please download, read, and enjoy. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.

It is have been a profoundly odd week. A miracle that I was able to keep my lead in word count with free writing. I discovered I do not feel poetically inclined at my mom’s house at all. I mostly feel disoriented and exhausted.

Unfortunately, snow and below zero temperatures kept me trapped in the house for Days 10, 11, 12, and 13. The snow had let up on the 12th but temperatures of -13 degrees Fahrenheit- on the morning of Day 13 rendered my car useless. It also put walking to places completely out of the picture. They were a bit too far to walk to especially in such cold temperatures.

This cold snap also made it apparent that I need to find my winter clothing – including my winter coat – but I have no idea where all of it is packed. My odds of finding my clothing before moving again are slim to none I think. At the rate the house hunt is going, I should unpack some of my items yet there is nowhere to place the unpacked items.

I finally got free on Day 14 to run a few minor errands during the day, and to attend the evening write-in and NaNoWriMo halfway party.

By the write-in, I had four poems left to write for both Elysian & Ether and Nightmares & Nevermore. Started out the writing time with two poems for Nightmares & Nevermore. One of which ended up being more personal than I anticipated.

I started to struggle after those two poems. I figured I would be all over these last eight poems like butter on bread since I had not much in the way of poetry for days. Perhaps the expectation was too much for my muse. I often struggle with the last few poems of a book to begin with. This time just seemed worse than usual.

The fact that there were 20 people crammed into a rather tiny space for the halfway party and write-in may have also played a role. Not a fan of groups even when they are all writers writing away. I briefly thought about leaving because the group was becoming too overwhelming but I was not in a place in the room where I could flee easily and quickly so I had to tough it out. I did not anticipate so many people, and had chosen a spot with a comfortable chair instead.

Eventually, I buried myself in my hoodie and ended up more productive across my notebook with the dance of a pen. I ended up with four more poems for my effort toward not freaking out by number of people and how they were to my personal space.

I completed Nightmares & Nevermore with two of the four poems.

Current Stats
Elysian & Ether: 98/100
Nightmares & Nevermore: 100/100
Overall Word Count: 26372/50000

Eve of NaNoWriMo 2014

NaNo-Participant-2014It is time for National Novel Writing Month once more. November is gearing up to be great with a lot of write-ins – one every day! Never have I been so excited for write-ins before.

In preparation of this year, I went through the first draft of Reaper’s Moon and pulled all the ‘weak’ areas so I can rework them. Determined to get a solidly finished draft done for Reaper’s Moon. I plan to also complete Elysian & Ether and Nightmares & Nevermore so I can get started on Passion & Prudence. If time/creative energy allows, there are several other novels in progress that would like my attention & affection.

This past year has been really tough on my creative process. I hope NaNoWriMo will help give me that ‘kick in the ass’ I need to get writing done.

There will be no Free Kindle download or Poetry Wednesday for the month of November. Those features will return in December along with the release of Russian Hymns. The Kindle version of Russian Hymns is available for pre-order.

Pre-NaNoWriMo Stats

Reaper’s Moon: One half is done, one half to rework/rewrite {sad panda face}
Elysian & Ether: 63/100
Nightmares & Nevermore: 65/100
Passion & Prudence: 0/100

NaNoWriMo 2014 will bring a major change to my day-to-day as part of reclaiming my creativity through health. Oh, I’ve had a lot of starts and stops in regards to becoming healthier. Unfortunately, things have gotten to the point where I am nearly crippled from pain. Back in October, I gave up wheat and sugar for a few days before caving in to my addictions. This ‘caving’ has made the pain even worse. Clearly, wheat and sugar are definitely not for me but I am horribly addicted. November 1st is the start of a program that claims it can kick such an addiction. It has a 3 day jump start where I eat every 2 hours in order to balance blood sugar and reduce cravings. I plan to do this jump start for 5 days to err on the side of caution. I really do not want to fail again. I am really sick and tired of being pained and tired all the time. I’m into this change-for-the-better with a lot of planning. I have 80% of my meals for November planned out. I’m happy there is a write-in nearly every day to avoid the toxic influences lurking around my mom and her house. I spent yesterday and today making grain-free snacks and prepping (travel friendly) meals for the next few days. After the 5 day jump start, I start alkalizing supplements and re-introduce exercise.

I am certain my NaNoWriMo 2014 blog posts will contain a bit about this change to help hold me accountable.

On the note of addiction and toxicity, there will be no spending in November beyond groceries, gas for Luna (my car), and a set amount for a caffeine-free sugar-free beverage at coffee shops ($2 max per coffee shop visit). Living with a hoarder has been heavily coloring my spending habits lately and it isn’t for the better. I had worked so hard to declutter and simplify yet it seems for nothing right now.

Yes, NaNoWriMo 2014 is for reviving my lagging creative process but it also serves as a distraction to, I hope, keep me from paying attention to the screams of dying addictions.

NaNoWriMo 2013: Days Nine through Fourteen

I survived the second move but finding it difficult to get my “groove” back.

Day Nine did not give up any poetry, only free writing. Suffered a drought on Days Ten, Eleven, and Twelve as I moved, unpacked, worked to adapt to my new living arrangement & role, and tried to gain some familiarity with Denver. Release Day for the last three chapbooks in the Moments of Self series – The Mirth of Equinox, The Solitude of Harvest, and The Embrace of Solstice – passed without much acknowledgment because I was too distracted. They are presently available on Kindle for 99 cents each or for free with Amazon Prime Membership.

So far, living with my sister and brother-in-law is a little odd but mellow. They leave for work before I get up and I only see them for a few hours once they get home from work. Keeping their house picked up is pretty easy since it was clean to begin with plus most areas they never use as they are rarely home. My main task everyday is cooking, which is fine with me, and the meals on this week’s menu are fairly simple, leaving me time to write, read, and continue unpacking. I do a lot of baking too. My very pregnant sister loves sweets and is delighted that desserts keep being on the menu. The desserts have also been a big help in using up the 5 pounds of apples she bought a few weeks ago and never ate.

I am almost done getting my wayward cave setup. During the move, I acquired a new bed frame and desk. The bed frame I needed and the desk was something multipurpose I desired. These new items sort of cement the concept of the clean slate, a new beginning.

Day Thirteen had me scoping out the local (and horribly pathetic) coffee shop scene within a few miles of the house. There are two Starbucks (crazy busy and hardly any seating at either location) and an Einstein Bros. Bagels (ample seating even if it is a little on the busy side and closes at absurd times). I spent a few hours that morning at the Einstein Bros. Bagels and got two poems written along with a bit of free writing. However, word count was very minimal. I, now, need to write around 2,500 words a day in order to get 50,000 by the end of the month. Pretty sure that such isn’t going to happen.

Found out that a SCA friend and fellow WriMo lives on the other side of the neighborhood. I knew she lived in the general area but couldn’t remember where exactly. I thought she was a bit further away in Aurora. We may try to get together to write-in soon. Most of the Denver Region write-ins, while inconvenient from where we live, are near her work so she attends when ever possible. She is reasonably excited about the potential of having write-ins near home too.

Day Fourteen had me back at Einstein Bros. Bagels and their internet connection kept dropping. Oh well, should be writing and not checking Facebook/Blog/NaNoWriMo.org obsessively. Not feeling the creative vibe in wayward cave yet. I am hoping it will show up as soon as I get everything put away. The bulk of the day’s words were free writing but a few poems snuck in too. This, very surprisingly, brought me to 2,500 words for the day. Given recent writing tendencies, clearly, I will not be finishing the first draft of Reaper’s Moon this month.

While my sister wants the baby to come NOW, I am hoping he holds off just a little longer so I can settle in some more and get a lot of writing done. I also have a manuscript to edit. I received it just before the move and haven’t gotten a chance to work on it. I have less than two weeks to get it done.

While unpacking things, I downsized more of my belongings. I could not fathom why I kept certain clothing items when I had never worn them and/or they were always ill-fitting. This weekend, the local SCA branch is having an event and the event “fee” is a donation to a local charity that collects food and clothing so they’ll be getting three large bags of clothing. This downsizing process makes me feel very accomplished. My sister, however, gave the impression that she did not think it was much of an accomplishment.

At this point, writing a single poem feels like a big accomplishment too.

I do miss my fur babies and wish they could be with me. I pray that we can be reunited in a place of our own in 6 to 8 months if I can find and obtain an apartment I can afford. Apartments are in very short supply post-flood and apartments in my price range are like unicorns. I do have a lot of concerns over what will happen if I cannot find a place in a timely fashion and/or something goes wrong with/for my sister or my brother-in-law. I do not wish to live with my mom or my dad again nor do I want to be homeless. I am trying not to dwell on the negative but it is a very real concern given my present situation and very limited income. Hoping for the best but considering my options if the worst comes to bite me in the rear.

I suppose it is time to cap off today’s writing stint in an attempt to get the rest of the wayward cave unpacked. Maybe tomorrow, it will be a good place to work in.

NaNoWriMo 2013: Days Six, Seven, and Eight

Day Six featured a write-in where I completed most of the day’s word count of 1778. I spent the day working on a considerable amount of data entry work. Fortunately, the amount of work was half of what it was last year. The bulk of the word count consisted of free writing once more and five poems were written. I remembered to post for New Poetry Wednesday. I posted a piece from Zephyr & Zinc, written on Day Three, called ‘Over Eyes‘. This piece will also be part of Russian Hymns.

Day Seven had 1768 words. Two poems and a whole lot of free writing make up the word count. I was largely disappointed in Day Seven and I have no one to blame but myself. I spent the rest of my day finishing up the data entry and moving more items into long term storage.

Day Eight featured another write-in. I wrote two poems early in the afternoon so when the write-in came around, I was only four poems away from reaching the milestone of 1500 poems written overall. Poem #1500 is called ‘Black Cats’, for Xenium & Xyris, although it is not about black cats which was written about an hour into the write-in. I quietly celebrated in this milestone by indulging in a freshly baked cinnamon crumb cake doughnut. The Friday night write-in location, a used bookstore, is right next door to a Winchell’s Donuts. The used bookstore smells of ink, paper, leather, and doughnuts. It is a surprisingly delicious sort of smell. Words were extremely slow in coming to the point where I had less than 1000 words after two hours worth of work. I did not meet word count goal this evening putting slightly behind in NaNoWriMo.

Cannot wait for Sunday. Even though I am nervous about living with my sister and brother-in-law, I am in dire need of a different location for the sake of my creativity. More will be shared about that later in a Simplicity Reveries post.

Tuesday is the release day for three chapbooks. Yes, three! These are the final chapbooks from the Seasons and Moments of Self series of work. The series is also known as everything written from 1994 to late 2011. The works in The Mirth of Equinox, The Solitude of Harvest, and The Embrace of Solstice were written between 1999 and 2004. Overlapping on the themes appearing in The Soul of Winter, The Kisses of Midnight, The Tears of Spring, The Poisons of Noon, and the start of The Breath of Summer.

Today also marks changes for my paperback books as they will be available soon for bookstores, libraries, and other locations to order. If you are interested in buying my assorted books of poetry and want to support your local brick and mortar bookstore, they can order my books for you!