NaPoWriMo – Already?

March feels like the never-ending month/year with everything going on. Last week, I realized it was almost time for NaPoWriMo and signed up. Maybe a smart move, maybe a stupid move. Only April can tell.

Hard to believe tomorrow is April 1st. Part of me is glad to finally be done with March yet the worst of what March as wrought has yet to materialize.

I suppose NaPoWriMo, this year, will be a means of escaping the horrors of the day to day as I continue to stay at home with my high risk factors and “quirky” immune system.

As I type this, I come to harsh realization that I’ve neglected this blog since the start of the year. Unfortunately, the year did not start out well for me (and for many others given their posts to social media & blogs) so it led to many things being put on the “back burner” as I focused on the necessities of day to day functions.

Finally, finally, starting to feel more functional and human so back to the things I want to do in additional to those that I have to do despite the ‘have to do’ list being longer nowadays.

To everyone: please be smart, be safe, be healthy, and stay home if you can. If you are worker in an essential field, thank you for your service.

2020

A new year and, typically, resolutions to be made….then discarded in a fiery blaze a short time later.

2019 was an unusual year but I learned a lot during it.

I, finally, learned that I am too ambitious with my plans. The plans only work when there is a regimented schedule and calm all the time. My life is never like that no matter how hard I try to be scheduled and “productive”. My life type versus the plans ends with me feeling guilty and disillusioned because I cannot fulfill the plans as I desired. Eventually, I become apathetic about the things I want to accomplish – even when time allows for the things to be done – and they don’t get done.

Some of the physical results of my over-ambition were scaled back/down during 2019. This scaling back/down brought about good things into my life for which I am grateful. These good things are what helped me realize my error in planning.

I also learned that talking about certain goals, resolutions, desires, and tasks are a great way NOT to get them to come into being. Talking about them are actually a fantastic way to get them ripped to shreds by others that do not have the best of intentions even when they claim they want nothing but the best for someone. No one wants or needs that kind of toxicity in their lives.

Both these lessons, in a way, sort of sabotaged my blog & social media presence later on in 2019, along with just being busy, as I struggled to find balance with the lessons within what means to be outwardly productive.

Always learning, always growing. 2020 will be no different in that regard.

Halfway through NaNoWriMo 2019

Oh how I wish things wouldn’t fall through the cracks but they do. This poor blog (and social media) are hiding in the dark crevasses of my mind and my to-do list each day. I don’t mean for it to be this way and yet…

I get so busy and/or distracted that I forget all of this is here for awhile. I frequently tell myself and this blog that I will be better about posting. It remains true for a few weeks then back into darkness with the occasional glimmer of hopeful light.

NaNoWriMo this year is WEIRD for me. While I make word count each day, I feel as if I have written nothing of any kind of substance for my poetry books. It is disappointing but I forge ahead. Putting words, any words, to paper just to say I did while maintaining the faintest wish for something useful.

Things with Patchwork Chicken Studio are going well even though I’ve ended up making more drawstring bags/backpacks after I promised myself I wouldn’t after August where I made 37 bags in less than a month. Glutton for punishment I guess but it was out of need for some additional variety after sales at a few shows. I also have a small pile of fabric waiting for the post-show season to become bags too but shhhhh, not suppose to know about that.

Word count for today is done. Would kinda like to curl up for a nap now but alas, no. There are time-critical things demanding my time and attention today. I had to force writing time into my schedule by going to the local coffee shop so I would not get distracted by all the other things waiting for me at home.

Art, Simplicity, and Joys

This week was the release of Written & Whim. I am very excited and grateful to have it done and out there. Still trying to wrap my brain around the fact I have published 23 full-length poetry books since September 13, 2011 aka the day The Heart of Autumn was published.

There are only 8 more books until I complete the A to Z theme. That is a bit baffling too. When I started on the A to Z journey in 2011, I thought it would be crazy to write 2600 poems over 26 books. I have less than 750 poems left to write now. Overall, I have written 2615 poems since 1994-ish. The bulk of which were written since I started publishing my work. Publishing my work has been a powerful motivator to write more which is fantastic.

No rest of the artistic. Already a quarter of the way through on writing the next book, Doll & Discarnate. At the beginning of 2019, I had this grand plan to write and publish 4 books during the year. I didn’t count on, foolishly, life things and other creative pursuits slowing that progress. Despite the error in judgement, I forge ahead with the words.

For several years now, I’ve been work on and toward a more simplistic life so I can spend more time with my passions and joys aka creative pursuits. I neglected my passions and joys quite a bit for many years prior which brought much sorrow into my life so simplicity is very appealing. Never want to feel that destructive, bone-deep sorrow again.

I keep coming to points where it seems I have finally reached a nice level of simplicity to only see it falter later. No. In fact, I have more to work to do. The chaos that ensues has been getting less and less chaotic over time. Yay for progress! But the fact that chaos creeps up and in so quickly tells me I have more work to do.

I’ve been neglecting such work this year. I think this has been to the detriment of my creative process and myself. Have to take time in the coming weeks to really clear out things weighing down my environment and triggering chaos. Cleaning up my apartment on a weekly basis, even though it is a deep clean, just isn’t enough to stop the creeping.

A few months ago, I sat down and wrote down everything that brings me joy no matter how small. The list surprised me. Poetry, painting, and creative things made the list of course. (Simplicity and no clutter also made the list which was surprising yet not surprising.) Some of my joys are not things I can do every day as they are seasonal activities. However, a lot of my joys were little things – like having my fingernails painted black, and the scent of sandalwood – that I could incorporate into my day every day but I wasn’t for some reason. As if I didn’t realize the joy they bring, as if I hadn’t forgotten what joy could be within the little things. Since I’ve done this list and started incorporating the little joys more and more into my daily life, I find myself much calmer and happier. As someone who has suffered from severe depression and wild mood swings for YEARS, it is kind of weird to be calmer and happier but it is growing on me.

I typed up all my joys into a word file on my computer. I go back and look at it to remind myself from time to time, especially if I am feeling sad or lonely or upset, then go and do one of things on the list.

So I leave you with this…

What are your joys? Do you involve as many as you can into your day?

Poetry Book Wednesday – Written & Whim

This week’s Poetry Book Wednesday feature is Written & Whim. Today is its Release Day!!! Welcome to the world, Written & Whim!

It is the eighteenth in the “A to Z” poetry books as well as my twenty-third published book. Several of its poems can be read through https://words-scribbled.com/books/written-whim/. The cover features one of my abstract paintings.

whimfrontcover

One hundred poems where words rule over and submit to the whims of ink & thought dancing in wonder across the pages

Written & Whim is available through Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1686128142 Kindle – $2.99 and Paperback – $9.99. The other 22 of my currently published poetry books and numerous chapbooks can also be found on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/default/e/B00AOVY2K4

I Blinked And…

…it is August. Not sure where June and July went but August is here. Think I blinked in May and, boom, August. I do have vague memories of June and July – most pertaining to dental appointments and pain that followed said appointments. Not the greatest of months for functionality but they have come and gone. I look forward to August and all the things I would like to do.

I haven’t been very attentive to my online presence in the past few weeks. Need to work on that some more. I get busy with and distracted by tasks then forget other things. One track mind, maybe?

I finished Written & Whim in July. That was a big undertaking. It should be published sometime this month – doesn’t have an exact publication date yet as I’m still trying to figure out what the description/back cover should say. Yes, a description is all that stands between me and the publication of my 23rd full-length book of poetry. It breaks my heart just a little to be so close yet so far from the finish line with Written & Whim.

Aside from work on Written & Whim, I’ve been working on inventory for Patchwork Chicken Studio. We have several multi-day Art, Craft, & Gift shows coming up so all of us at Patchwork Chicken Studio have been busy creating in order to bolster our inventory for these shows. Patchwork Chicken Studio is, also, currently running a giveaway. Soon, we’re going to be giving a fabulous denim tote bag that was made by the very talented Susabelle and features a lovely rainbow-colored batik that came from my fabric stash.

My inventory work has primarily involved creating drawstring bags/backpacks in different prints & colors. I had enough fabric on hand for 24 unique one-of-a-kind bags. I have 14 done. 4 more sitting by my sewing machine to finish up this weekend. The rest are waiting to start final assembly. There are so many that I had to create a spreadsheet to keep track of what fabric elements go where and such since each bag features 3 to 4 different fabrics divided among 15 pieces to put together. I typically only make 6 to 8 bags at a time. 24 bags in an assembly line of bag awesomeness has proven to be a significant and, occasionally, overwhelming but worthwhile undertaking.

I have ten mosaic and six painting ideas awaiting my attention too but I’ve been kind of ignoring them. I couldn’t figure out why until this morning. I was gathering my things to come to the coffee shop as I wanted to get out of the house for awhile. I just HAD to get out. This ‘HAD‘ attitude is what tipped me off to my artistic plight. While my home is fairly clean, despite being in the creative trenches, it is just disorganized enough where I am agitated and unproductive among the chaos.

For someone that lived in much worse states of chaos for years and has taken massive strides in correcting such issues, this agitation speaks volumes about the progress I’ve made in improving my surroundings and negative behaviors. Very proud of myself though I am sad I will be spending the rest of today on cleaning. Still not a fan of cleaning. I can think of a million things I’d rather do even though I wouldn’t actually do any of them given the current state of my home. Irony perhaps?

For August: the publishing of Written & Whim, art & inventory (drawstring bags, flannel blankets, mosaics, abstract art, mixed media art, beaded ornaments [maybe]), tagging inventory with the spiffy new logo price tags recently obtained, packing up inventory for the shows, marketing work, writing poems, being more consistent in my online presence, and – most importantly – keep my home from sliding into the chaos again so I can remain productive.

Off I go to do battle with the evils of chaos…..

NaPoWriMo 2019 – Day Off

The Anubis being cute on the sofa.

 

Had an emergency tooth extraction yesterday late morning so not in a writing mood today. The headache pressure is intense. Anubis isn’t a very good nurse though. He just wants attention all the time, cares not for my discomfort.